How CBT Helps When You’re Anxious But Expected to Be ‘Fine’ for the Holidays

The holidays can feel like a contradiction. On one hand, they’re supposed to be about joy, connection, and taking a break. At the same time, they can bring a wave of pressure, awkward family dinners, and the feeling that you have to be “on” all the time. If you’re a teen dealing with anxiety, this time of year can be especially tough. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, even when everyone around you expects you to be fine. There are tools that can help, and one of the most effective is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in Chicago and Evanston, IL.

With options for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, support is more accessible than you might think. It’s completely valid to feel a sense of dread mixed in with the holiday cheer. You’re not alone in feeling this way. This guide will walk you through why the holidays can be so stressful and how CBT can offer practical, real-world strategies to help you navigate them with more confidence and calm.

Why the Holidays Can Be Overwhelming for Teens

The pressure to feel happy during the holidays is immense. It comes from movies, social media, and even our own families. But what happens when you don’t feel that way? It can lead to feelings of guilt or isolation, making your anxiety even worse. Here are a few common stressors that can make the holidays feel less than merry:

• Family Dynamics: Being around extended family can be a lot. You might face questions about your grades, your future, or your life choices that feel intrusive. Sometimes, you might feel like you have to put on a mask and be someone you’re not, which is exhausting.
• Social Media Comparisons: Scrolling through Instagram or TikTok, you’re likely to see highlight reels of everyone else’s “perfect” holiday. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your reality to their curated posts and feeling like your life doesn’t measure up. This comparison game is a major trigger for anxiety.
• Academic Stress: For many teens, the holiday break isn’t much of a break at all. It might be overshadowed by final exams, big projects due in January, or the looming pressure of college applications. It’s hard to relax when your academic responsibilities are hanging over your head.
• Feeling Lonely or Disconnected: Even in a room full of people, it’s possible to feel lonely. You might miss your friends, feel disconnected from family members, or feel like no one truly understands what you’re going through. This feeling of isolation can be particularly painful during a time that’s supposed to be about togetherness.

What Is CBT and How Does It Work?

So, what exactly is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)? Put simply, CBT is a type of therapy that helps you understand the connection between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It’s based on the idea that our thoughts, not external events, are what affect how we feel and act. By learning to identify and change unhelpful thought patterns, you can change the way you feel. Think of it like having a mental toolbox. When you’re feeling anxious, you can pull out a specific tool to help you fix the thought that’s causing the distress.

Instead of getting stuck in a cycle of negative thinking, CBT gives you the power to break free. CBT is one of the most researched and effective forms of therapy for anxiety. It’s not about endlessly talking about your past. Instead, it’s a practical, goal-oriented approach focused on giving you skills to use in the present. This is why it’s such a powerful resource for teens. You learn techniques that you can start using right away to manage anxiety, whether it’s at a family gathering or while studying for a final.

How CBT Can Help With Holiday Anxiety

CBT provides concrete strategies to tackle the specific challenges the holidays present. It moves beyond just talking about your anxiety and gives you actionable steps to manage it. Here’s how Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help you cope:

Challenging Negative Thoughts:

A core part of CBT is learning to identify and challenge automatic negative thoughts. For example, you might have the thought, “I’m going to say something awkward at dinner, and everyone will judge me.” CBT teaches you to question that thought. Is it 100% true? What’s a more balanced perspective? Maybe it’s, “I might feel a little awkward, but people are probably more focused on themselves. And even if I say something clumsy, it’s not the end of the world.”

Managing Expectations:

The holidays are filled with “shoulds.” You should be happy, and you should want to spend time with every single relative. CBT helps you challenge these rigid expectations and replace them with more realistic ones. This approach empowers you to set boundaries, like taking a break to be alone for a little while. You can also say no to an event that feels too overwhelming.

Coping with Social Anxiety:

If big gatherings make you anxious, CBT can help. An online therapist for teens can guide you through techniques like role-playing conversations or creating a plan for how to handle social situations. This could include having a few conversation starters ready or identifying a quiet space you can retreat to if you start to feel overwhelmed.

Behavioral Strategies:

CBT isn’t just about thoughts; it’s also about behaviors. Your teen therapist might help you create a “behavioral activation” plan. This involves scheduling small, enjoyable activities for yourself throughout the holiday break, even if you don’t feel like it at first. Going for a walk, listening to music, or spending a few minutes on a hobby can make a huge difference in your mood.

Self-Help Strategies Inspired by CBT

While working with an online therapist is incredibly valuable, there are some CBT-inspired techniques you can try on your own to manage holiday anxiety. These strategies can empower you to take an active role in managing your thoughts and feelings. They won’t replace therapy, but they can serve as helpful tools to ground you when things feel overwhelming. Think of them as first aid for your mind during a particularly stressful time.

Start a Thought Record:

This is a classic CBT exercise. When you feel a wave of anxiety, take a moment to write down what’s happening. Note the situation, the automatic thought that popped into your head, and the emotion you felt. Then, challenge that thought. Look for evidence that doesn’t support it and come up with a more balanced, alternative thought.

Practice Mindful Breathing:

When you’re anxious, your breathing often becomes shallow and rapid. Taking slow, deep breaths can send a signal to your brain to calm down. Try the 4-7-8 technique: breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and breathe out for 8. Do this a few times when you feel stress building.

Schedule “Worry Time”:

Instead of letting worries consume your entire day, set aside 15-20 minutes each day to let yourself worry. When anxious thoughts pop up outside of that time, gently tell yourself, “I’ll think about that during my worry time.” This can help you feel more in control of your thoughts.

Focus on Your Senses:

When you feel overwhelmed, ground yourself in the present moment by using the 5-4-3-2-1 technique. Name five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This simple exercise can pull you out of an anxious spiral.

These strategies can be a great starting point. They can help you build self-awareness and give you a sense of agency over your anxiety.

How to Get Started with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Taking the first step toward getting help can feel intimidating, but it’s a sign of incredible strength. You deserve to feel better, and support is available. If you’re a teen, talking to a trusted adult (like a parent, school counselor, or another family member) is a great first step. Let them know how you’re feeling and that you’d like to explore therapy. Finding the right teen therapist is also really important. Look for someone who specializes in working with teens and uses CBT. Many therapists now offer a free consultation call, which is a great way to see if you feel comfortable with them. The rise of telehealth has also made therapy more accessible than ever.

With an online therapist for teens in Evanston and Chicago, IL, you can get support from the comfort and privacy of your own home. The holidays don’t have to be a time of anxiety and stress. With the right tools, you can navigate this season with more peace and confidence. CBT offers a roadmap to help you understand your thoughts, manage your feelings, and take back control. You have the power to change your experience, and you don’t have to do it alone.

Navigating Holiday Anxiety? Explore Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in Chicago and Evanston, IL

Feeling overwhelmed by holiday stress and expectations? You don’t have to face it alone. At Evanston Counseling, we understand that the holidays can stir up anxiety, pressure, and tough emotions—especially when you feel like you’re supposed to act “fine.” Our online teen therapists use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help you build real-world skills, challenge unhelpful thoughts, and find your footing when things get tough. We offer compassionate, knowledgeable support tailored just for teens, so you can move forward with confidence and calm.

• Schedule your free consultation and take the first step toward feeling better.
• Connect with an online teen therapist who understands what you’re going through.
• We’ll work alongside you to develop healthy ways to cope, set boundaries, and navigate family and social dynamics during the holidays—and beyond.

Other Therapy Services at Evanston Counseling

At Evanston Counseling, we understand that the holiday season doesn’t just bring up anxiety about family get-togethers—it can also highlight other challenges you might be facing. Maybe the extra stress brings underlying worries to the surface, or perhaps feelings of loneliness or sadness show up alongside the push to “be fine.” Your experiences are unique, and your well-being matters to us in every season.

Navigating holiday anxiety is just one part of your story. We’re here to listen and support you, no matter what you’re dealing with. Our practice offers a safe, compassionate environment where you can explore more than just holiday stress—we’re here for whatever’s on your mind.

At Evanston Counseling, our services include Therapy for Young Adults, Therapy for Anxiety, Therapy for Depression, Couples Therapy & Marriage Counseling, Therapy for Moms, Therapy for Empty Nesters, Therapy for Teenagers, LGBTQIA Therapy, Chronic Pain Treatment, Hypnotherapy, Pet Therapy, and easy-to-access Online Therapy. Our caring, evidence-based approach is here to help you explore your concerns, discover tools that fit your life, and make positive changes that last, no matter the time of year.